A deep and abiding love of Oriental Beauty

A deep and abiding love of Oriental Beauty

I interview myself.

 Q: What’s hard for you?

A. Math is hard. Reading a map. Following orders. Carpentry. Electronics. Plumbing. Remembering things correctly. Straight lines. Sheet rock. Finding a safety pin. Patience with others. Ordering in Chinese. Instructions from Ikea.

Q: What do you want on your gravestone?

A: “Pardon me for not getting up.”

Q: What do you wonder about?

1. Is there a plug in the bottom of the ocean? 2. How does it feel to be a tree by a freeway? 3. Sometimes a violin sounds like a Siamese cat; the first violin strings were made from cat gut- any connection? 4. When is the world going to rear up and scrape us off its back? 5. Is a diamond just a piece of coal with patience? 16. Did Ella Fitzgerald really break that wine glass with her voice? 

Q: What are some sounds you like?

1. Steady rain 

2. Children when school’s out 

3. Hungry crows 

4. Orchestra tuning up 

5. Ice melting 

6. Piano lessons coming from an open window 

7. Old cash registers/Ca Ching 

8. Tap dancers 

9. Fog horns 

10. A busy restaurant kitchen 

11. Elephants stampeding 

12. Bacon frying 

13. Marching bands 

14. Clarinet lessons 

15. Chinese arguments 

16. Pinball machines 

17. Tubas 

18.Musical Saw 

19. Pigeons 

20. Seagulls 

21. Owls 

22. Mockingbirds 

23. Doves 

(The world is making music all the time.)

Q: What’s scary to you?

1. A dead man in the backseat of my car with a fly crawling on his eyeball. 

2. Turbulence on any airline. 

3. Sirens and search lights combined. 

4. Gunfire at night in bad neighborhoods. 

5. Leftover fish from two nights before.